My Life Right Now In A Nutshell

Yesterday just didn't turn out the way I had hoped. After having the worst weekend possible, I was looking forward to making this day one worth living. I woke up with a smile on my face and was ready to make this day great. I got up, got dressed, and went downstairs. I made some hot cocoa and sat down at the kitchen table to enjoy myself. I finally felt worry-free for the first time in days. My neighbor had told me that she could drive me to school every monday and wednesday, so this morning I got ready fast and walked out the door. When I got to her house, her mom informed me that she had to work and her daughter had to take the girls to school. So, I headed home in anger that they hadn't told me sooner. When I got home and told my mom she had to drive me to school, she was furious. So, what I thought was going to be a great day was already becoming a nightmare and it wasn't even 7:30 yet.
By 7:35, I was finally on my way to school, afraid of being late for my first class. The entire ride to school was spent being yelled at and lectured by my mom. By the time I got to school, I was positive that, yet again, I was to have another bad day. I just don't understand! Why does God allow people to be in so much pain day in and day out without giving them much hope for tomorrow? I feel like I am never going to feel happy again.
On top of all this, I got into a fight with one of my best friends. I'm not going to get into detail here, but if you want to give me some advice, I'll tell you. I just don't know what to do. I feel like she went out of her way to deliberately hurt me. The things she said to me are just things a so-called "best friend" should never say to you. I'm torn between hating her and loving her. I mean, yeah I miss her as a friend, but I can't forget what she said to me and that makes me so confused. Last night, I talked to my mom about this problem and she said to me, "well...what do YOU want?" And right then and there it hit me. I don't know what I want. I feel that SO MUCH has hurt me this past week that I really don't know what I want anymore. I've been praying and praying about it and I just can't seem to find the answer. My heart has been broken into so many pieces that I can't seen to figure out how to put them back together. At some points, I feel like it's been broken so many times, that it will never be able to be whole again. I just wish that I had some insight on how to handle this situation. I guess for now, all I can do is continue to pray and hope that God gives me an answer, or sends somebody to talk to me and help me find my path.